Unexpected!

Last month my life turned... In a direction I was never expecting.

I grew a billion times over in 1 day.
I lost a girlfriend I cared passionately for, and I also lost my job.

For a few weeks I felt like nothing... I couldn't care less what happened to me as I had literally nothing left. I realized I had family... But when you're used to a certain way of living, and suddenly you sit at home with 1500$ literally left to your name... It hits you.... I've never been suicidal as I enjoy life WAY too much, however I didn't really care much for anything. I became numb... I felt no pleasure, some pain, but overall, I felt nothing. I realized that overall it was a good thing to have lost my job and be single at exactly that time.... Just one doesn't expect that to happen..... even if I was thinking about it.

Do I miss my job? NO. It was fun while I was there, but now I'm curious about another profession. Given I literally have nothing to lose, now is the time to look into it and see what I can do.

I'm finally fearless. To quote a song by Matthew good, an artist my ex really likes, and what she once wrote in a card for me:

"Is there anything that I need to say
that hasn't been said before
I have been polite for too long
why should I be anymore
better now than never, better loud than clever
better just to play the fool
it's times like this
when you just close your eyes and kiss
cause everything after this
is just bullshit and being cruel
so hold me up, I'm going out
and don't wait up, I won't be coming home "

I'm not afraid anymore of what people think, or what people say. I understand everyone now to a degree I couldn't understand before. I was too shy, too complacent... Too timid... My last relationship has made me fear nothing.

The next chapter begins once i'm back in montreal. I feel ready, I feel alive, I feel fearless.

Your life / Career

Are you doing what you want in life to avoid pain, or to pursue pleasure?

There's a huge difference... Think about it!