up early

I think I might have been up all night.

I'm doing my best to help my girlfriend study and pass her exams. It's been a crazy week.... but she's doing good and that's what counts the most.

I don't know what hapenned last night, but I had a ton of energy... I could barely sleep. When I did try to sleep... I had tons of thoughts rushing through my head....

Not often this happens, but I find myself missing my friends lately. I haven't seen them in a while as i've been so caught up with work, and home. I guess i've had more time lately to think about everything.

I had a friend email me a week ago asking how I was. It's the first time I actually had someone send me an email, if not just someone contacting ME in general... I've always been the person to have to make the first call, first email, first anything. Honestly it gets tiring as you essentially start to realize that it's most likely because you don't truly have something important to contribute, or just that you're not that interesting a person... The latter most likely being the case... I've always been different in that, talking about sports or the weather doesn't interest me as much as talking about physics, quantum mechanics, computers, cars, cameras, you get the point.... after a while you adjust... you figure... ok, I can accept this behaviour and understand that this is the type of person that I am. Ideally in due time I'll possibly find a friend who might be interested in how I am doing and contact me to discuss some intersting topics.

Anyways... i'm at work... as usual... need to keep working, keep making money. One day maybe i'll stop being lazy and make a couple million off my ideas... Although, that involves actually changing those from ideas to actions. A year off work would be nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PINxfouNQFw&feature=related

Oddly enough I also hate being pittied. The minute I realized I had to start doing things myself, I started doing that... I learned to cook by myself, I learned to live... I had to live by myself for a while... although my shortcomings: cleaning clothing, washing dishes... :-/ Things I wish my mom had forced me to do when I was a kid. I would have had a better understanding of time management had she forced me. Now, I need to be sure I don't slip at work, but also can't slip at home. I've had to pay everything myself, and I guess inside i'm very upset about that still.

This in itself means I need to be more serious about life... Everyone knows... me+serious=false...
I was taught that life was too short and to not take things to seriously, and so i don't... and so that causes issues in my life because everyone thinks i don't care about anything, when i do. I do care, just I'm not the type to stress it because if i'm not dying from it or it can't hurt me, then it can be fixed and resolved. I've been to vietnam, cambodia, bangkok, etc... I've seen how shitty their lives are and so I'm greatfull for the things I do have.

anywho, ok now i must work... lol seems my brain had some random thoughts...