Unexpected!

Last month my life turned... In a direction I was never expecting.

I grew a billion times over in 1 day.
I lost a girlfriend I cared passionately for, and I also lost my job.

For a few weeks I felt like nothing... I couldn't care less what happened to me as I had literally nothing left. I realized I had family... But when you're used to a certain way of living, and suddenly you sit at home with 1500$ literally left to your name... It hits you.... I've never been suicidal as I enjoy life WAY too much, however I didn't really care much for anything. I became numb... I felt no pleasure, some pain, but overall, I felt nothing. I realized that overall it was a good thing to have lost my job and be single at exactly that time.... Just one doesn't expect that to happen..... even if I was thinking about it.

Do I miss my job? NO. It was fun while I was there, but now I'm curious about another profession. Given I literally have nothing to lose, now is the time to look into it and see what I can do.

I'm finally fearless. To quote a song by Matthew good, an artist my ex really likes, and what she once wrote in a card for me:

"Is there anything that I need to say
that hasn't been said before
I have been polite for too long
why should I be anymore
better now than never, better loud than clever
better just to play the fool
it's times like this
when you just close your eyes and kiss
cause everything after this
is just bullshit and being cruel
so hold me up, I'm going out
and don't wait up, I won't be coming home "

I'm not afraid anymore of what people think, or what people say. I understand everyone now to a degree I couldn't understand before. I was too shy, too complacent... Too timid... My last relationship has made me fear nothing.

The next chapter begins once i'm back in montreal. I feel ready, I feel alive, I feel fearless.

Your life / Career

Are you doing what you want in life to avoid pain, or to pursue pleasure?

There's a huge difference... Think about it!

Marijuana hurts some, helps others...

Research shows the it can kill or rescue neurons. Children seem to be at risk while adults might benefit.

To summerize:

It seems as though when our neurons are still developing, the endocannabinoids actually damage the neurons. Researchers are still not sure why this is. However, once the neurons have developed, it begins to assit in the survivial of aging neurons.

THC seems to suppress the toxic effects of the so-called a-beta protein that may kill neurons in Alzheimers disease.

Scientists are trying to extract the exact part from the THC to further analyze it!

Smile! It affects you!!

Studies are showing that simply making a happy face can influence your feelings.

Take a moment right now to picture yourself smiling. Now smile and you'll immediately start feeling happier in general.

It seems as though it's not all based on emotions, but a certain part is based the physical!

People who were forced to frown and complete this word: gr_ss were more tempted to right "gross"

While people who were forced to smile, became happier and when approached with gr_ss, were more proned to write "grass".

Interesting!

Who Said That?

Specialized neurons sort out overlapping sounds!

research into a cat's midbrain has found that the cells that sense a sounds direction of origin respond the most to the first 50 milliseconds of a sound wave, then they taper off!

The neurons actively ignore the after sounds and help us better detect where a sound is originating from.

NLP

Neuro Linguistic Programming.

My new found love... hah.

It's amazing how much NLP can really push you forward in your thought process.

I've always been one to observer my surroundings and want to be better than the average person at everything. It's another thing to discover the power of NLP and it's use in everyday life situations.

I now realize the importance of proper communication. How you say something might have a different impact on any person you might be talking to.

Essentially, we all use different techniques to communicate. It's being able to figure out how that person chooses to communicate AND being able to adapt to it, that's important.

NLP teaches you different methods to do this effectively.

The biggest bonus out of all of this, is the amount of confidence it brings with it. You learn how to properly ask for what you want, or understand what the other person might want. You begin to feel less limited!

I'll update this blog with more info as I read more about it.

I joined a group recently that does NLP in toronto.... Just need to attend at some point.

As well, I will eventually update this blog with another book I'm reading on how to properly sell an idea to someone else.

.... All this in preperation for my move to a photography career where I will need to sell myself properly and effectively.

The key is to make sure you have the building blocks in place so that you have a proper framework to build off of. Only then can you climb the mountain without worrying that your base might not be strong enough...

It also feels like I've managed to remove any ounce of shyness that I once had.

Wow... just WOW

I can't even comment on this... you just need to read the whole article...

It's gold!

http://www.kitsapsun.com/news/2009/sep/04/bremerton-men-accused-of-getting-naked-and-loud/?partner=RSS

cab driver accepts "pay as you want as fare"

Interesting concept.... kewl idea... I think depending on where you're located this could be well worth it.

For example in a rich area, this might be beneficial on small fares as clients might not have as much time to think how much the cab ride might have cost. Versus a poor area with clients who will be tighter on cash...

Check out the news article!

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2009/08/02/10345151-ap.html?cid=rssnewsweird%20news

Black plague (bubonic) strikes China

OK, now this is seriously something to worry about!

A variant of the black plague seems to be starting up in China, killing 3 people to date.

The small town has been quarantined, however it's just a tad worrisome to know that this once ancient plague is resurfacing now!


http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=8250776&page=1&cid=yahoo_pitchlist

Canada finds plane lost in 1942!

How cool! Canadian archeologists find a plane that went down in the saint lawrence river in 1942!

The plane looks like it's in good condition, so this should be pretty interesting once it's been dug up!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20090806/wl_canada_afp/canadaushistorywwiiarcheologyairplanecrash

New Device can help police determine "what you're on"

Using Magnetic nanoparticles, it can detect trace amounts of: cocaine, heroin, cannabis, amphetamine, and methamphetamine

The device contains ligands (ions or molcules, etc.. that attach to other specific elements) that attach themselves to any of the five elements above.

A bit of saliva is applied to the unit, the unit is then tested and returns what you "might be on".

oh... and the test takes less than 90 seconds to run!


http://www.technologyreview.com/biomedicine/23111/

You're smart because your neural wiring is coated!

There's new research suggesting that how your neural wiring is coated can play an important role in determining your intelligence.

Thus supporting the idea that intelligence is partly inherited.

"The neural wires that transmit electrical messages from cell to cell in the brain are coated with a fatty layer called myelin. Much like the insulation on an electrical wire, myelin stops current from leaking out of the wire and boosts the speed with which messages travel through the brain--the higher quality the myelin, the faster the messages travel. These myelin-coated tracts make up the brain's white matter, while the bodies of neural cells are called grey matter."

http://www.technologyreview.com/biomedicine/22333/?nlid=1884/

Today

I observe, I listen. I do my own thing.

There are things to get back in order and slowly everything will fall back into place. Until then, frugality is my name. I realize, combined with my last name, sounds rather funny.

Pay yourself first, my sister told me recently. I realize this is true, however often difficult when living in the moment. I often forget the far future of retirement. Without money saved up, you will not lead a healthy lifestyle. My priorities have changed and so has my attitude towards everything.

I feel more responsible lately. I'm thinking of what I need to do for me without being led or getting caught up in making others super happy.

I was told I have sleep apnea. Lets explore this topic for a moment.

Sleep apnea essentially means out of breath.... When you sleep, your airway is blocked up by some sort of soft tissue in the rear of the throat. Untreated it can essentially make it harder for you to work as you'll be much more tired during the day. (Amongst other issues... )

And finally a very random poem of sorts:

Not so nice outside, the weather grim
tree branches out into a naked dance
earth is fire when boiled in a can
forever toiled to move forward glance.

eyes split into waters ruffled
damaged by time yet clearly seeing
seeing clearly since the beginning
the light is green it's time to move.

Overseer

Sometimes when I don't speak up, it's because I'm thinking that you might catch on.

My single biggest mistake it thinking that people understand. What I often find simple to understand, is sometimes way beyond the person next to me.

It is because of this that I now realize where I stand, and what I need to do. I realize now that I need to guide the people around me.
My intensity in learning a subject, combined with my detail oriented mind, allows me to see every crack on the street.

... Felt I had to blog something... :)

Programming the people

The most effective way to conquer a man is to capture his mind.

Control a man's mind and you control his body.

via: Hypnotic suggestion

The idea is to suspend the thought process of the conscious mind and put yourself in a state of "day dreaming"

This is when the mind is most vulnerable.

Distract by placing focus on one of the 5 sense (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste), so that you can program the subconscious mind.

The power of intuition comines from the subconscious mind.

When you cannot arrive to a conclusion based on rational data that your conscious mind processes, then the latter takes over to make a descision.

Sometimes the things you don't visually see, are the ones that will help you with your final answer.

Feed the subconscious mind incorrect information, and you'll still act on it.

The first principle of mental programming is distraction.
The second, is reptition.

The Power Of Music
---------------------------------------------------------
Plato and Aristotle believed that people could be controlled by music. It affects your body, your mind, and your emotions. Sound changes your whole body chemistry.

Even sounds you cannot hear can affect you. They can affect your internal organs, and cause headaches, nausea, etc...

Your entire body is sensitive to sound.

For example, much of todays popular rock music is built around heavy bass patterns that are louder than the melody. These loud low frequency vibrations and the driving beat affects the pituitary gland. This gland produces hormones that control the sexual responses of males and females. Essentially making the music "feel" good.

Repetition: Research indicates that you will accept what you hear (subconscious) when you cannot clearly understand what's being said/sang. You subconscious cannot make out if it's true or false what's being said and thus registers everything.

Interesting information:

By using close-ups and long shots, you can help the viewer decide what's important and what's not, in any speach.

A closeup shot would convey what seems to be more important information than a panned out shot.

The power of hypnosis is the power of suggestion. Only the subconscious mind can be affected by this. You can go so far as to operate on someone without anesthesa by simply suggesting that they are under the influence.

Simple hypnotic technique:
You can place a bright object in front of someone and start talking. The bright object can act as a distraction while the subconscious is quickly programmed.
Note that what you wish to suggest, must be said rythmically, just as a hypnotist would speak.

To convince someone of facts, you must aim for a persons emotions and you must limit what you want to say to only a few points. finally repeat repeat repeat.

If you haven't done so, you need to read the book: 1984

To mess with peoples heads... use newspeak (read 1984!)
The "evil doers" is a prime example of newspeak designed to confuse the people into acceptance. when you've never heard the word before, your subconscious will more easily accept it.

By giving people the illusion that they are in control, they are more willing to follow.

Interesting fact: newcorp which owns fox, also owns myspace ;-)

Think: Historically, the government has been the servant of private wealth.

Interesting fact: You will believe something as true if taught in a school because it's being presented by a believeable figure. However this doesn't necessarily mean it's truthfull information.

On Marijuana: The Sufis, a mystical Islamic sect, continue to use marijuana in the traditional shamanist way to enter deeper leverls of mind in order to gain access to userful information.

That's all for now... more as I keep reading....

Toronto versus Montreal... - Water Fluoridation

So Montreal doesn't really add fluoride to its water. However Toronto does...

Page 71 of Keith - Mind Control, World Control - The Encyclopedia ofMind Control (1998) says that the reason fluoride was added to water to "reduce the resistance of the masses to domination and control and loss of liberty"

What I find interesting about this particular line is that I see a big difference between montreal and toronto. I can't say it's ONLY because of the water, however I find it interesting that toronto does add fluoride to it's water and the people here are indeed different.

Different? People seem more complacant in Toronto. They seem to obey the rules, and are less resistant to change. While in Montreal everyone seems a bit more free spirited.

I could be wrong as I only have a small snapshot of Ontario as a whole. Though what I see right now, tells me that maybe there's something to explore...

Interesting...

Without Words

It was early and this just came to me. I had to write it...
--------------
years of being saved and protecting loved ones
his turned to be protected, held, and hugged.
from cage to crying to being brought home
in the blink of an eye he's no longer alone

and neither are you, feeling protected is one
now this weapon of choice equates to a gun
Walk him through the park, your bound to hear a bark
cause no ones getting close to his saviours heart

pridefull and strong, he finally belongs
worry from the family about his anger is gone
nips at a kid or two, but who are you to judge
his dedication to your life, you're not holding a grudge

he's more than a dog, he's truly one of us
his attitude and character feel free to discuss
been with you through it all, and truly understands
that his role in this house is to act like the man

but now that he's older he's needing a hand
make him feel protected loved and grande
but make no mistake cause he's still the man
in his eyes is strength and respect he demands

Now the roles have reversed and he needs you
more than he thinks and more than you know
your love for innocence means that you'll hold true
and hold him when he's weak, it's the least you can do

In his eyes is strength and in yours is love.
When these cross paths, it's when you rise above
and the pride in his eyes is his internal disguise
for the love for you that he kept protected inside

so protect him now and stand by his side
and forget all else from the world outside
nothing really matters but this innocent life
Kimo is the man who's touched many lives

Innnocent - K.

So difficult it is to let go of a loved one. Especially when there's so much innocence in his eyes.

We remember the best times we've ever had with them. We remember the long walks. We remember the times where we've simply spent time together.

We remember saving the innocent.
We remember holding them and telling ourselves that we we'll protect them no matter what happens. When little do we know that even if they can't speak to us, that they will protect us without fail.

They will be by our side in our moments of sadness. They will remain silent, and sit by you as you look into their eyes and wish they understood how you feel. Don't be fooled however, as they know full well how you feel. This is when they are the most loyal, next to you, and become YOUR rock in your difficult times.

They become a symbol of strength and protection when none existed. They accepted the role without even a blink.(sometimes trying to take out little people that might be in their way :-) )

They will forever remain family. They will remain in our hearts and memories forever. We will never forget them, and that is a promise.

They know you've saved them and for that, they will be forever thankful.

Thank you for being there.

The Name. Some news

The price of financial laziness might be higher than you think:
http://www.forbes.com/2009/06/19/cost-of-laziness-entrepreneurs-finance-laziness.html

Zoning out... is important!
http://lifehacker.com/5299958/zoning-out-is-a-crucial-mental-state-studies-say


Internet to be screened: http://www.spacewar.com/reports/US_government_Internet_traffic_to_be_screened_report_999.html

Black holes might be more massive than imagined!
http://www.spacedaily.com/reports/Black_hole_more_massive_than_imagined_study_999.html

Bridges built from recycled plastic:
http://www.spacemart.com/reports/Bridges_built_from_recycled_plastic_999.html
Crimes against humanity Bill will close the wonderfull US loophole
http://www.commondreams.org/newswire/2009/06/24-14

6-8 million people without a job... Thanks to the recession - And it's not over yet!
http://www.commondreams.org/view/2009/07/03-2

Confidence

With confidence, the world is your oyster. People look at you differently.

Sometimes you can even see it as acting exponentially.

I was asked to photograph a strangers wedding this coming october. Without flinching I agreed to it. I decided it's time to just put my best foot forward. I have the skills, and there's only so many compliments I can take before I snap and either tell everyone they are delusional, or accept it nd move forward in my life. I accepted they're request to photography their wedding. I've not set a price on it yet, but i will make sure to get this wedding.

I've already had a few back and forths between the bride and myself. In each and every message, I composed it with utter confidence. I did not quiver or back down saying I couldn't do a certain picture, or a certain style.

I was straight up and mentioned how i shoot, and what I'm best at. To my surprise, she came back asking for a final price.

My scorpio sign is said to be that of a leader. A sign most feared as they achieve whatever they want in life. A sign that will do better than others signs. A sign that overthinks and has immense intuition. A sign that might be cold faced, but has intense emotions hidden beneath.

"In their everyday behavior they give the appearance of being withdrawn from the center of activity, yet those who know them will recognize the watchfulness that is part of their character. They need great self-discipline, because they are able to recognize the qualities in themselves that make them different from other humans, and to know their utterly conventional natures can be used for great good, or great evil. "

I've decided i need to live with passion. I need to do what I need to do to move forward.

My days of being lazy are pretty much behind me as I confidently take a step forward into the new world of risk and success, and I did this myself. I've already applied this to my work environment as I speak without hesitation. I no longer say "it might" or "this should.." I now say "it works like this." or "I don't know right now. I will find out".

My sign is known to not sugar coat and to be straight up. If it doesn't look good, I will say it. If i'm not happy, i'll say it.

At the end of the day, I have finally applied confidence towards my photography hobby. To my surprise,the initial msgs went better than expected. I'm going to land this job. Although not the highest paying, I will prove my skills as a photographer and move forward. Performing weddings without having done formal training or having gone to school... HAH....

Passion and confidence can work together in harmony to bring you anything you want. With confidence, you can convince anyone of anything. With passion, you can achieve anything you're trying to accomplish.

That's all i have to say for today.

Caffeine OD

So... you wanna overdose on caffeine...

You'll need about 150mg/kg.

Thus:
50kg needs 7.5 grams of caffeine.

Interesting...

Noise experiment curiosity...

A train horn placed on top of many buildings within a certain area... each timed to go off for a minute at the same time... Causing an extremely loud noise throughout a certain area (ie: placed on top of 20 nearby buildings)

One must wonder what type of social instability this could cause... would people not care, panic, or?

anywho... :)

Fluoride - Deception?

I've been reading about fluoride lately and how bad it is for us. I'm VERY shocked that we haven't taken more proactive measures to truly cut off all fluoride from out water supply.

It's been known for decades that fluoride is damaging our insides and yet we still feel we need to add it to our water. Moreover, there's no hard evidence that fluoride is good for our teeth. I'll be adding more about this as I keep reading up on it, however if you do use anything with fluoride, please stop using it!

Cambodia

As much as Cambodia is poverty stricken, I'd love to eventually go back. Angkor Wats was phenomenal! Such an interesting place to visit!

Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cambodia

up early

I think I might have been up all night.

I'm doing my best to help my girlfriend study and pass her exams. It's been a crazy week.... but she's doing good and that's what counts the most.

I don't know what hapenned last night, but I had a ton of energy... I could barely sleep. When I did try to sleep... I had tons of thoughts rushing through my head....

Not often this happens, but I find myself missing my friends lately. I haven't seen them in a while as i've been so caught up with work, and home. I guess i've had more time lately to think about everything.

I had a friend email me a week ago asking how I was. It's the first time I actually had someone send me an email, if not just someone contacting ME in general... I've always been the person to have to make the first call, first email, first anything. Honestly it gets tiring as you essentially start to realize that it's most likely because you don't truly have something important to contribute, or just that you're not that interesting a person... The latter most likely being the case... I've always been different in that, talking about sports or the weather doesn't interest me as much as talking about physics, quantum mechanics, computers, cars, cameras, you get the point.... after a while you adjust... you figure... ok, I can accept this behaviour and understand that this is the type of person that I am. Ideally in due time I'll possibly find a friend who might be interested in how I am doing and contact me to discuss some intersting topics.

Anyways... i'm at work... as usual... need to keep working, keep making money. One day maybe i'll stop being lazy and make a couple million off my ideas... Although, that involves actually changing those from ideas to actions. A year off work would be nice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PINxfouNQFw&feature=related

Oddly enough I also hate being pittied. The minute I realized I had to start doing things myself, I started doing that... I learned to cook by myself, I learned to live... I had to live by myself for a while... although my shortcomings: cleaning clothing, washing dishes... :-/ Things I wish my mom had forced me to do when I was a kid. I would have had a better understanding of time management had she forced me. Now, I need to be sure I don't slip at work, but also can't slip at home. I've had to pay everything myself, and I guess inside i'm very upset about that still.

This in itself means I need to be more serious about life... Everyone knows... me+serious=false...
I was taught that life was too short and to not take things to seriously, and so i don't... and so that causes issues in my life because everyone thinks i don't care about anything, when i do. I do care, just I'm not the type to stress it because if i'm not dying from it or it can't hurt me, then it can be fixed and resolved. I've been to vietnam, cambodia, bangkok, etc... I've seen how shitty their lives are and so I'm greatfull for the things I do have.

anywho, ok now i must work... lol seems my brain had some random thoughts...

Nothing changes quickly...

I grew up thinking we'd get the latest changes in life. We'd advance so quickly because computers were in our life and we all want to do our best...

After a while I came to realize that we're not really out to do our best... We're out to do......
Time is not on our side and i'm sure it's been setup this way by people higher up who do not want us to push the envelope and throw things out of whack.

Imagine if you were able to find a cure for a disease while others were working to find that same cure but were contrained to a specific work environment. Basically you went off and had free reign.....

Essentially, people go to work each day and make small advancements. We know that big advancements means you might put your colleague out of work because his position might no longer be required.

People enjoy going to work in consistency. They enjoy knowing that everyday is the same except with those minor advancements... ie better benefits, or maybe a new tool to optimize your time just a little bit. However god forbid a radical new way of thinking that could optimize the whole system considerably. even execs and higher up's play this game to ensure they will continue to get paid.

You buy a 8gb ipod now, while next year a 16gb version comes out, followed by a 30gb version the following year... Why not push our advancement now and come out with a 60gb version right away? For one, in this situation, the drive inside is expensive, and drops in price as lower sizes start being sold in mass production, however the point is that, we do not push the envelope because people are complacant.

I have a problem with complacancy, however I too have become this way. Odd because I was one who was always trying to learn something new... I'm trying to revert back to my old ways of learning everything, however time is not always on my side.

Anywho... Just a thought...

Day 2...

...Of Basketball...

My body hurts a bit... but it's getting better... I jog home from work to increase my endurance as I can tell I'm extremely out of shape.

I'm more focused this year on what I want and what I need to do to get there, and because of that I see myself changing to be more responsible.

People amaze me.
Naughty By Nature plays in my ears again.
I grow everyday.
I take care of my goddaughter
I enjoy my time on earth
I'm still curious about the inner workings of everything around me.
I WILL figure out how "that" thing works.
I will work harder than in my previous years.