I'm no longer in Morrisburg or Cornwall... I ended up in Toronto, back home and went to work for the week. Today I'm at my gf's chilling in the basement, reflecting on the fact that I'm nearly identical to my mom and that scares the crap out of me.
I remember being so annoyed by her when I was in highschool because she wanted to do everything for me and I never managed to grow as an individual. I fled the scene and moved into my own appartment where I started learning to do stuff on my own. But I never had the chance to reflect on myself and who I am and want to be as a person. Instead resorting to being passive and submissive like my mom. It's a pattern I need to change if I want to succeed in life. I need to find a proper balance the ensures i'm growing as an individual, and also ensures that i'm not pushing my loved one away. I'll redirect myself to something constructive and not self destructive. I need to return to how I was before, but on a more balanced level. It's the balancing that i've never been good at because of my past. However, hopefully I'll be able to do that now as I have a girlfriend who's so understanding and so supportive of me.
Anywho, I have more learning to do.
I'm going to focus on trying to start an ecommerce business now. It's going to succeed and it's going to generate a lot of revenue.
I'm eating rice krispies right now...
I forgot what my favorite song of all time was until I heard it again last week. I used to play it every first day of high school to calm me down as I was always nervous first day. "Everythings gonna be Alright" by Naughty By Nature.
Here's a sample:
Some get a little and some get none
Some catch a bad one and some leave the job half done
I was one who never had and always mad
Never knew my dad, mother f*** the f@g
Where anywhere I did pick up, flipped the clip up
Too many stick-ups, 'cause niggas had the trigger hic-ups
I couldn't get a job, nappy hair was not allowed
My mother couldn't afford us all, she had to throw me out
I walked the strip, which is a clip, who wanna hit?
They got 'em quick, I had to eat, this money's good as spent
I threw in graves, I wasn't paid enough
I kept 'em long 'cause I couldn't afford a haircut
I got laughed at, I got chumped, I got dissed
I got upset, I got a tech in the banana clip
Was down to throw the led to any tellin' crackhead
I'm still livin' broke, so a lot of good it would've did
Or done, if not for bad luck, I would have none
Why did I have to live a life of such a bad one
Why when I was a kid and played out was a sad one
And always wanted to live like just a fat one
Essentially it describe Treach's life in he ghetto.
"Too many stick-ups, cause niggas had the trigga hic-ups" essentially just guys shootings guy for money without a care in the world.
Meanwhile here I was,nervous about going to school... Yet in the midst of being nervous about going to school, I was growing up with little money myself!
Either way, I used to feel better hearing this song. Its not often a rap song has a lot of meaning and depth.
On that note, I'm no longer in my girlfriends basement, but instead at home... Time to get ready to head out!
I remember being so annoyed by her when I was in highschool because she wanted to do everything for me and I never managed to grow as an individual. I fled the scene and moved into my own appartment where I started learning to do stuff on my own. But I never had the chance to reflect on myself and who I am and want to be as a person. Instead resorting to being passive and submissive like my mom. It's a pattern I need to change if I want to succeed in life. I need to find a proper balance the ensures i'm growing as an individual, and also ensures that i'm not pushing my loved one away. I'll redirect myself to something constructive and not self destructive. I need to return to how I was before, but on a more balanced level. It's the balancing that i've never been good at because of my past. However, hopefully I'll be able to do that now as I have a girlfriend who's so understanding and so supportive of me.
Anywho, I have more learning to do.
I'm going to focus on trying to start an ecommerce business now. It's going to succeed and it's going to generate a lot of revenue.
I'm eating rice krispies right now...
I forgot what my favorite song of all time was until I heard it again last week. I used to play it every first day of high school to calm me down as I was always nervous first day. "Everythings gonna be Alright" by Naughty By Nature.
Here's a sample:
Some get a little and some get none
Some catch a bad one and some leave the job half done
I was one who never had and always mad
Never knew my dad, mother f*** the f@g
Where anywhere I did pick up, flipped the clip up
Too many stick-ups, 'cause niggas had the trigger hic-ups
I couldn't get a job, nappy hair was not allowed
My mother couldn't afford us all, she had to throw me out
I walked the strip, which is a clip, who wanna hit?
They got 'em quick, I had to eat, this money's good as spent
I threw in graves, I wasn't paid enough
I kept 'em long 'cause I couldn't afford a haircut
I got laughed at, I got chumped, I got dissed
I got upset, I got a tech in the banana clip
Was down to throw the led to any tellin' crackhead
I'm still livin' broke, so a lot of good it would've did
Or done, if not for bad luck, I would have none
Why did I have to live a life of such a bad one
Why when I was a kid and played out was a sad one
And always wanted to live like just a fat one
Essentially it describe Treach's life in he ghetto.
"Too many stick-ups, cause niggas had the trigga hic-ups" essentially just guys shootings guy for money without a care in the world.
Meanwhile here I was,nervous about going to school... Yet in the midst of being nervous about going to school, I was growing up with little money myself!
Either way, I used to feel better hearing this song. Its not often a rap song has a lot of meaning and depth.
On that note, I'm no longer in my girlfriends basement, but instead at home... Time to get ready to head out!
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